Since I wasn't sure how much sleep I would be getting on the way home (since I assumed I would be in the van again I also assumed not really any) I decided to forgo getting up early and eating breakfast to sleep in until 8am. I had brought along some snack/breakfast bars so I had one of those, finished my packing, turned in my keys, helped do final checks of our rooms, and then lugged my baggage back down to meet the buses.
As the adults gathered to figure out the game plan-thanks to my wondering what time the Mall of America opened on Sundays, we had learned that going there before going to Chicago wasn't an option-I learned that the van I thought I was going to be on had already left. So that meant that I was spending the entire trip home on the bus, which would only prove better than the van ride if two things happened a) I got to sit alone and b) I got more than an hour's worth of sleep.
We ended up leaving Bethel University around 10am and didn't stop until we had lunch at a Hardee's in Wisconsin. We arrived in Chicago around 6:30pm where we headed to the courtyard of the Cathedral of St. James' to have a brief Eucharist together as the whole of Province III (mostly) before we separated to get dinner. I went with a small group and we found a Qdoba to eat dinner at then a few of us wandered around until it was time to return to the courtyard to say good-bye to one of the buses before heading off around 9pm. I did try some deep dish pizza, it was different.
We stopped briefly in Indiana twice once to change drivers in Portage and once at a rest stop around 12am. I did manage to get a bit of sleep from about 2 to 5am. We stopped in Pittsburgh around 6:30am where we had breakfast, said goodbye to the other bus and the participants from the Pittsburgh area, then found a Starbucks before heading for the turnpike. Turned out there was a fatal crash on the turnpike so it was closed. We were forced to take a different route home that included a stop in Cumberland, MD, where the nice people at Emmanuel fed us some lunch around 11:45am. We left for Ellicott City at 1pm and made it there by 2:30pm where the Diocese of MD disembarked and said goodbye to the Diocese of Easton.
All in all it was an amazing experience yet again. I maybe would have changed a few things about E.Y.E. itself but I wouldn't change what I did and how I felt. I got goosebumps more times than I could count and I was constantly in awe of the way God was working in all the people around me all at once and at various times. In addition to all that there was a sense of rightness, of my being exactly where I was supposed to be at all times while I was there. A sense that I was doing what God wanted me to be doing, and a hope that blossomed that I am continuing to move down the right path with my life. I guess only time and God will tell if I was imagining things or not. I certainly hope not.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
E.Y.E. Day 5
For the last full day of E.Y.E. I woke up at 6:45am headed to breakfast and then since I enjoyed it so much headed for the labyrinth. This time I got to walk it completely alone, so I decided to play some music (Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo was all I had that fit). It was just as calming as the day before, in fact I realized that I had it wrong yesterday. The wobbles that I mistook for obstacles are not really obstacles; rather each time I wobble I step from the path ever so slightly to regain my balance, so its like each time I come across an obstacle on my journey I step off the path slightly looking for a way to regain balance and meaning of my experience. In reality I only ever really achieve balance and meaning from being on the path and moving forward towards my goal, no matter how disconcerting the journey might sometimes be.
We had another Keynote Speaker at 9am from Ecuador who spoke about short term mission. She talked about the need to let go of our Intellectual, Cultural, & Spiritual Prejudices before embarking on short term mission. She also spoke of the importance of giving and receiving as well as being prepared but being careful not to make it "all about me".
We again met with our small reflection groups until lunch and then we had free time until 1pm. We had an afternoon of workshops, but this time there was really only one workshop that interested me. At 1:15pm I attended the workshop titled "Prayer Through Art." It was a little disappointing, I think because there were soooo many people who went. The concept was really cool, we started off by listening to a story and then forming groups to create a collage to represent how we felt (I didn't care very much for this part) and then we worked individually to create works of art to express how we were feeling. We could finger paint, color, watercolor, or make things using a Salt Dough-recipe below.
I had signed up to chalice at the service being held today at the start of E.Y.E. but practice wasn't until 4:30pm; since there were no other workshops that interested me I headed to the Info Desk to see who was around. I ended up sitting at the Info Desk until the start of practice because the people who were sitting there when I got there kept having to leave to deal with things, and since I had spent a fair amount of time sitting there yesterday I just sort of sat down and answered the myriad of questions being asked.
Chalice practice was fairly straight forward. We were given the option of working with a Bishop we knew and since my Bishop had left this morning I decided to work with the Bishop of Easton whom I had gotten to know during our journey up in the van.
I wound up eating dinner at 5:30pm-practice ran over-outside with basically everyone else who was there (burgers and chips style dinner). Episcolympics started at 6:15pm and I headed over to support MD who was running the Cup event. The service was set to begin at 8:30pm but I headed over early so I could be sure I was in my special seat before the craziness started since there were two processions for that service (one came from the Habitat House the other came from the Episcolympics). The Bishop of Minnesota presided, we got to watch the footage of him blessing the Habitat House-yes he stood on the roof-and then the President of the House of Deputies gave a fascinating sermon about how we are all ministers in the Church.
My chalicing experience at E.Y.E. was by far the most exciting one yet. The Bishop and I were confused about where to go-don't ask-when we got there I had no "wine", they started communion and then rushed to find me someone who could give me "wine", I ran out of "wine" halfway through and had to wait for them to find an acolyte who could give me more, all in all we were the last station serving communion ergo the last pair to return to the stage (something I try not to think about too hard).
We had Ben & Jerry's after the service and then tried to get 700+ kids calm enough to sleep-almost wanted to kill whoever thought to give the already wound up teenagers more sugar and then telling them to go to bed. We finally succeeded and I packed a little before crashing.
Salt Dough
2 Cups Flour
1 Cup Salt
~1 Cup Colored Water
We had another Keynote Speaker at 9am from Ecuador who spoke about short term mission. She talked about the need to let go of our Intellectual, Cultural, & Spiritual Prejudices before embarking on short term mission. She also spoke of the importance of giving and receiving as well as being prepared but being careful not to make it "all about me".
We again met with our small reflection groups until lunch and then we had free time until 1pm. We had an afternoon of workshops, but this time there was really only one workshop that interested me. At 1:15pm I attended the workshop titled "Prayer Through Art." It was a little disappointing, I think because there were soooo many people who went. The concept was really cool, we started off by listening to a story and then forming groups to create a collage to represent how we felt (I didn't care very much for this part) and then we worked individually to create works of art to express how we were feeling. We could finger paint, color, watercolor, or make things using a Salt Dough-recipe below.
I had signed up to chalice at the service being held today at the start of E.Y.E. but practice wasn't until 4:30pm; since there were no other workshops that interested me I headed to the Info Desk to see who was around. I ended up sitting at the Info Desk until the start of practice because the people who were sitting there when I got there kept having to leave to deal with things, and since I had spent a fair amount of time sitting there yesterday I just sort of sat down and answered the myriad of questions being asked.
Chalice practice was fairly straight forward. We were given the option of working with a Bishop we knew and since my Bishop had left this morning I decided to work with the Bishop of Easton whom I had gotten to know during our journey up in the van.
I wound up eating dinner at 5:30pm-practice ran over-outside with basically everyone else who was there (burgers and chips style dinner). Episcolympics started at 6:15pm and I headed over to support MD who was running the Cup event. The service was set to begin at 8:30pm but I headed over early so I could be sure I was in my special seat before the craziness started since there were two processions for that service (one came from the Habitat House the other came from the Episcolympics). The Bishop of Minnesota presided, we got to watch the footage of him blessing the Habitat House-yes he stood on the roof-and then the President of the House of Deputies gave a fascinating sermon about how we are all ministers in the Church.
My chalicing experience at E.Y.E. was by far the most exciting one yet. The Bishop and I were confused about where to go-don't ask-when we got there I had no "wine", they started communion and then rushed to find me someone who could give me "wine", I ran out of "wine" halfway through and had to wait for them to find an acolyte who could give me more, all in all we were the last station serving communion ergo the last pair to return to the stage (something I try not to think about too hard).
We had Ben & Jerry's after the service and then tried to get 700+ kids calm enough to sleep-almost wanted to kill whoever thought to give the already wound up teenagers more sugar and then telling them to go to bed. We finally succeeded and I packed a little before crashing.
Salt Dough
2 Cups Flour
1 Cup Salt
~1 Cup Colored Water
Friday, June 24, 2011
E.Y.E. Day 4
I woke up at 6:30am again for breakfast at 7:15am. I made one significant change that I should have made yesterday; I went and walked the labyrinth laying in the chapel. As you may have noticed from previous blog posts I have a bit of a thing for labyrinths, and the one in the chapel at E.Y.E. was no exception. As I walked the labyrinth at 7:45 in the morning (the earliest I've ever walked one) I began to think about how my journey to priesthood has been a lot like a walk on a labyrinth. Each obstacle I encounter is like each wobble I have while walking the labyrinth-note that I have poor balance so I wobble quite a bit-and yet I keep moving forward toward the center/goal. As I was walking I really was wishing I had remembered to bring my prayer beads with me. I also had an idea that there should be a taizé type service that involves using a labyrinth to receive communion-I don't know if this is something that is done somewhere and I just don't know about it or if perhaps I've lost my mind a smidgen. As I was concluding my walk I decided that if it was ever in my power to do so I would love to be able to start each morning with a walk on a labyrinth. I was not alone in the chapel on my journey. Although no one else was walking with me there were a few people sitting at a table in the corner silently coloring; as I was preparing to leave one of them came over to me and handed me a colored paper. He quietly informed me that he had colored it as I walked and he thought I might like to have it-I was touched.
We had another guest speaker at 9am. This is what he had to say to us. As you can see if you watch it, he was amazing and hilarious. He spoke mostly about how the youth are prophets and visionaries of the church, and the impact that young people can have if they are willing to take the risk. Here is the video of the virtual choir he shows briefly-it is beautiful and I am in love with this music now.
We met with small reflection groups after the speaker until it was time to go to lunch. We had about a third of the time as yesterday but I felt like we managed to discuss a lot. Lunch was at 11:15am and then we had free time until workshop 1 at 1:15pm. The workshop I was originally going to attend got changed to a later time so I had to find another one to attend, and I decided to attend the one the keynote speaker was hosting. We had a deep conversation about the changing world of religion, the fact that more & more people are claiming to have no religion at all, and how young people don't know what it means to be an Episcopalian. I then went to my Bishop's workshop about centering prayer. It was very fascinating because he used the story of Mary and Martha to talk about how much we need time to pray in our lives. Sometimes we are Martha and ergo are constantly working or looking for someone to blame that work isn't being done. Other times we are Mary when we find ourselves sitting at Christ's feet and just listening for what He has to say.
I volunteered at the Information Desk from 4:30-8pm where I mostly did a lot of Participation Bingo card punching and chatted with the very nice man left in charge. At 8:30pm I went in and listened to my Bishop lead a powerful Prayer Service, where he talked about tearing down walls that we don't know how to and how only Jesus can tear them down sometimes. It was very moving and in the end he had the whole theater on its feet.
Following that we had cookies/brownies and then it was time for lights out, showers, and sleep. The photos are (left) the labyrinth I walked and (below) the coloring I was given.
We had another guest speaker at 9am. This is what he had to say to us. As you can see if you watch it, he was amazing and hilarious. He spoke mostly about how the youth are prophets and visionaries of the church, and the impact that young people can have if they are willing to take the risk. Here is the video of the virtual choir he shows briefly-it is beautiful and I am in love with this music now.
We met with small reflection groups after the speaker until it was time to go to lunch. We had about a third of the time as yesterday but I felt like we managed to discuss a lot. Lunch was at 11:15am and then we had free time until workshop 1 at 1:15pm. The workshop I was originally going to attend got changed to a later time so I had to find another one to attend, and I decided to attend the one the keynote speaker was hosting. We had a deep conversation about the changing world of religion, the fact that more & more people are claiming to have no religion at all, and how young people don't know what it means to be an Episcopalian. I then went to my Bishop's workshop about centering prayer. It was very fascinating because he used the story of Mary and Martha to talk about how much we need time to pray in our lives. Sometimes we are Martha and ergo are constantly working or looking for someone to blame that work isn't being done. Other times we are Mary when we find ourselves sitting at Christ's feet and just listening for what He has to say.
I volunteered at the Information Desk from 4:30-8pm where I mostly did a lot of Participation Bingo card punching and chatted with the very nice man left in charge. At 8:30pm I went in and listened to my Bishop lead a powerful Prayer Service, where he talked about tearing down walls that we don't know how to and how only Jesus can tear them down sometimes. It was very moving and in the end he had the whole theater on its feet.
Following that we had cookies/brownies and then it was time for lights out, showers, and sleep. The photos are (left) the labyrinth I walked and (below) the coloring I was given.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
E.Y.E. Day 3
Since I took a shower when we got in and almost no other adults did, rather than fight to shower between 5:30 and 6:30am, I slept until 6:30am. Breakfast was at 7:15am followed by the opening worship service at 9am. The Presiding Bishop led the worship service including a beautiful sermon about ways to remember the world at large. (Presiding Bishop's Sermon at E.Y.E.)
Following the service we had lunch and free time until it was time to meet with our small groups at 1:15pm. Small groups went fast so I was back in the dorm earlier than anticipated. I wanted to shower at 4pm so I couldn't go to an afternoon workshop, but it was only 2:30pm so I decided to relax a little and color until I could shower.
After showering and changing clothes I had enough time to leisurely make my way to dinner. At dinner I found out that the Bishop for my diocese had shown up. I decided not to mob him at dinner-there was practically a line. After dinner I was sitting at a table near the dining hall writing down my experiences, when he came down and sat with me. He wanted to know how I was handling the decision from the COM and was pleased that I am sticking with it. I told him about how 3 different people told me almost verbatim the same things about sticking with my process, and how after the third phone call I said "Ok God I get what you are trying to tell me." To which he responded by saying two things "God bless you," and "we all end up where we are supposed to be."
So following dinner we were all given the opportunity to attend a Mission Possible Workshop of our choice, and I chose to attend the Prayer Jars Workshop. I showed up about half an hour early because I wanted to be sure I could have a seat. Once everyone got settled, the workshop leader started by telling us part of the story from the book "Christmas Jars" by Jason Wright. She went on to tell us about how "we don't build community, we build an environment where the Holy Spirit builds community;" in addition she said that "everything you do is a living prayer." We were given jars and told to decorate them and spend from now until Christmas Eve filling them with our change to give to someone anonymously.
There was a Keynote Speaker at 8:30pm from Episcopal Relief Development who talked about how to get youth involved. He tossed around the idea that we don't do mission rather God does mission through us. After the speaker we had chips and dip before bedtime. I returned to the dorm to learn that chaperones are now also permitted to shower after 11pm.
Following the service we had lunch and free time until it was time to meet with our small groups at 1:15pm. Small groups went fast so I was back in the dorm earlier than anticipated. I wanted to shower at 4pm so I couldn't go to an afternoon workshop, but it was only 2:30pm so I decided to relax a little and color until I could shower.
After showering and changing clothes I had enough time to leisurely make my way to dinner. At dinner I found out that the Bishop for my diocese had shown up. I decided not to mob him at dinner-there was practically a line. After dinner I was sitting at a table near the dining hall writing down my experiences, when he came down and sat with me. He wanted to know how I was handling the decision from the COM and was pleased that I am sticking with it. I told him about how 3 different people told me almost verbatim the same things about sticking with my process, and how after the third phone call I said "Ok God I get what you are trying to tell me." To which he responded by saying two things "God bless you," and "we all end up where we are supposed to be."
So following dinner we were all given the opportunity to attend a Mission Possible Workshop of our choice, and I chose to attend the Prayer Jars Workshop. I showed up about half an hour early because I wanted to be sure I could have a seat. Once everyone got settled, the workshop leader started by telling us part of the story from the book "Christmas Jars" by Jason Wright. She went on to tell us about how "we don't build community, we build an environment where the Holy Spirit builds community;" in addition she said that "everything you do is a living prayer." We were given jars and told to decorate them and spend from now until Christmas Eve filling them with our change to give to someone anonymously.
There was a Keynote Speaker at 8:30pm from Episcopal Relief Development who talked about how to get youth involved. He tossed around the idea that we don't do mission rather God does mission through us. After the speaker we had chips and dip before bedtime. I returned to the dorm to learn that chaperones are now also permitted to shower after 11pm.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
E.Y.E. Day 1/2
I spent the days leading up to our departure for E.Y.E. 2011 explaining to friends and family members where I was going and why. It was funny to me how many people told me not to worry, that I would have fun, and that they would pray for me. I'm not sure why it was funny per-ce, just knew that it was.
I arrived in Ellicott City, MD to catch the bus at 11:30am yesterday. We left a little after Noon and drove to Hermitage, PA. We arrived there shortly after 5pm an hour early, and waited for the other two buses. The plan was for all of Province III to meet in Hermitage and drive together to E.Y.E. Bus number 2 was on time-ish arriving shortly after 6pm, and bus 3 was very late arriving around 7:30pm.
We ate dinner in shifts, waited on the buses to refuel and get new drivers, sorted out who was riding where (the people from Pittsburgh and North Western PA met us at the church in Hermitage along with a 15 passenger van missing the back seat-it was determined that we would have chaperones only in the van and let the kids ride on the buses), and finally departed shortly after 9pm.
From Hermitage we drove up into Ohio where we stopped briefly after midnight, and then to Portage, Indiana to switch drivers at a hotel after 3:30am. We passed through downtown Chicago a little after 5am, which is when the van lost the buses. Turned out it was ok as we had to make a bathroom/gas stop just inside of Wisconsin around 6am.
Just outside of Madison we stopped and had breakfast; at which point our van caught up with the buses again. We arrived at the Mall of America between 11:30am and Noon. We were given until 3pm to wander the mall and eat lunch; I still didn't see all of it.
We made it across the river to Bethel University by 3:35pm and after some brief confusion managed to check in, go to our dorm, hear the welcome speech, and find our rooms by 4:30pm. We were all eagerly anticipating taking a shower before dinner only to learn that dinner was at 5pm and adults could only shower from 5:30-6:30am or 4-5pm. I was determined to make it so I quickly yanked what I needed out of my suitcase, dashing into the bathroom, and took the fastest shower possible.
Since I gave up on sleep after barely managing to get an hour's worth between 10:30 and 11:30pm I headed to dinner with plans to take a nap between dinner and the 8pm Adult Leader Orientation. I managed an hour which helped me make it through the adult meeting and the dorm meeting before crashing for the night
I did manage to read an entire book between Midnight and breakfast on my Kindle though, so the van ride wasn't a complete wash-out.
I arrived in Ellicott City, MD to catch the bus at 11:30am yesterday. We left a little after Noon and drove to Hermitage, PA. We arrived there shortly after 5pm an hour early, and waited for the other two buses. The plan was for all of Province III to meet in Hermitage and drive together to E.Y.E. Bus number 2 was on time-ish arriving shortly after 6pm, and bus 3 was very late arriving around 7:30pm.
We ate dinner in shifts, waited on the buses to refuel and get new drivers, sorted out who was riding where (the people from Pittsburgh and North Western PA met us at the church in Hermitage along with a 15 passenger van missing the back seat-it was determined that we would have chaperones only in the van and let the kids ride on the buses), and finally departed shortly after 9pm.
From Hermitage we drove up into Ohio where we stopped briefly after midnight, and then to Portage, Indiana to switch drivers at a hotel after 3:30am. We passed through downtown Chicago a little after 5am, which is when the van lost the buses. Turned out it was ok as we had to make a bathroom/gas stop just inside of Wisconsin around 6am.
Just outside of Madison we stopped and had breakfast; at which point our van caught up with the buses again. We arrived at the Mall of America between 11:30am and Noon. We were given until 3pm to wander the mall and eat lunch; I still didn't see all of it.
We made it across the river to Bethel University by 3:35pm and after some brief confusion managed to check in, go to our dorm, hear the welcome speech, and find our rooms by 4:30pm. We were all eagerly anticipating taking a shower before dinner only to learn that dinner was at 5pm and adults could only shower from 5:30-6:30am or 4-5pm. I was determined to make it so I quickly yanked what I needed out of my suitcase, dashing into the bathroom, and took the fastest shower possible.
Since I gave up on sleep after barely managing to get an hour's worth between 10:30 and 11:30pm I headed to dinner with plans to take a nap between dinner and the 8pm Adult Leader Orientation. I managed an hour which helped me make it through the adult meeting and the dorm meeting before crashing for the night
I did manage to read an entire book between Midnight and breakfast on my Kindle though, so the van ride wasn't a complete wash-out.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Letter from Commission on Ministry
I know it has been awhile since I last posted, but I've spent the time working, reflecting, and processing. I finally received an electronic copy of the letter I was supposed to receive in hard copy a few weeks ago. I will paste it below for you all to read. It is not nearly as in depth as I had expected but that is the way things go sometimes. I am getting ready to head to Minnesota next week as a chaperone for the Diocese of Maryland Delegation to E.Y.E. '11. I'm pretty pumped to experience E.Y.E. from another point of view and see what sort of insights I develop. I want to try to write at least one blog post a day from my journey, but I don't know what the internet situation will be so if nothing else I will back post all the entries when I return to Maryland. And now without further ado I give the letter:
May 18, 2011
Dear Kassia,
Thank you so much for your openness and eagerness to discern how God is calling you to use your gifts and experiences to serve God’s people. We especially thank you for doing so in the unique younger vocations process designed for 2011. This letter, including the recommendation, is a follow-up to our earlier phone conversation following the April interviews.
At this time the COM could not affirm that seminary in the fall of 2011 was the most appropriate next step in your discernment. We do affirm, however, your continued discernment regarding ministry in general and ordained ministry in particular. We recommend that your next steps of discernment would include the Diocese of Maryland’s Discerning Ordained Vocation (DOV) program, through which you would meet monthly with a cohort of other aspirants and experience an internship in a parish other than St. James. You may submit an application for this program, downloadable from the Diocesan website, to Dawn Kline at the Diocesan Center.
The following is the recommendation from the COM from your interview report: We believe Kassia is not yet ready to test her vocation by going to seminary. She needs experiences in the wider church and experience of the wider needs the church addresses. We recommend that she enter the regular DOV program in the Fall 2011 intake, and continue exploring her vocation. Within the DOV program, we recommend that her internship be in a faith community very different from those she has been part of in recent years. If she can fit in an additional volunteer experience on top of work and the DOV internship, so much the better: the aim is for her to experience a variety of worshiping communities and a variety of social ministries, before returning for another interview in the spring of 2012.
I believe engaging this diocesan program would be a fruitful time of discernment for you within the larger church, and would give you an opportunity to engage in ministry alongside people of more diverse ages and experiences.
Blessings,
COM Chair
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