At the start of Lent the Rector of our church put out a basket of stones in the Narthex and encouraged us to take one and carry it around with us during Lent-the idea being that on Good Friday you come and lay your stone at the foot of the cross. I didn't think too much of it at the time, and so I didn't get a stone or think about the stones until last Sunday. See where I'm going with this don't you?
I arrived early for my first discernment committee meeting and since no one else was there I was sort of meandering about in the Narthex waiting for others to arrive. I came across the basket of stones and looking through them pulled out one that fit into the palm of my hand but not quite comfortably since its sort of triangular in shape. I hadn't planned on keeping it, put I never got around to putting it back.
All through the meeting I clung to that stone. I didn't really think terribly much about it per se it just was there and I like to think it was absorbing all of my worries and fears and thoughts and prayers. I got into the car to head home and realized that I still had the stone in my hand. And so it became my Lenten rock.
This morning I was going to bring it with me to church, but I decided to bring my new Prayer Beads instead so I could get them blessed. And in that moment of deciding not to bring my rock with me, it became my discernment rock. I have decided that I will bring it with me to every meeting, gathering, service, grouping, etc I attend concerning my discernment. And then either on Good Friday or Holy Saturday before the service, I will take my discernment rock filled with all of my discernment worries, fears, hopes, prayers, concerns, and feelings and I will lay it down before the cross. I will in a way lay my discernment at Christ's feet. I pray He will bring it to God on my behalf.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
But Rosaries Are Catholic...
I have always been curious about the history of the rosary (why are Catholics so attached to them? and why are Catholics the only ones who use them?) but it wasn't until I stumbled across a brief discussion on them in a book I'm reading-My Faith, My Life: A Teen's Guide to the Episcopal Church-that I really learned anything about them. Turns out there is a vast and diverse history behind the rosary, which is also referred to as Prayer Beads.
Prayer Beads can trace their history to Hinduism where they are called Mala and consist of 108 beads used to count prayers. From Hinduism the practice transferred over to Buddhism, where they have a variety of names depending on the culture but generally keep to the 108 beads used by Hindus. Naturally, the practice caught on in Islam, where they are called Misbaha and contain either 99 beads to be cycled through once or 33 beads to be cycled through thrice. Finally Prayer Beads found their way into Christianity.
In the Sixteenth Century, Pope Pius V pronounced that what we know as the Catholic Rosary is credited to Saint Dominic who also founded the Dominican Order. The Catholic Rosary consists of either 5 or 15 decades meaning the beads are grouped in tens with a bead in between each grouping. They are used by saying a Hail Mary Prayer for each of the ten beads and an Our Father prayer is said for each of the beads in between groupings while simultaneously meditating on one of the 20 mysteries. For further clarification check out Wikipedia.
In the mid-1980s Anglicans decided they wanted to join in on the fun. Thus Anglican Prayer Beads were born. They consist of 33 beads and are organized as follows: After the cross is a larger bead called the Invitatory Bead, which is followed by the first of four Cruciform Beads, which is followed by 7 Week Beads, another Cruciform Bead, 7 Week Beads, Cruciform Bead, 7 Week Beads, final Cruciform Bead, and the final 7 Week Beads. There is no right or wrong way to pray using Anglican Prayer Beads which allowed for them to be adopted by many other religious sects including Lutherans, Baptists, Methodists, and others.
After learning all of this I decided I wanted to try creating my own Anglican Rosary, something that would be uniquely mine that I could use for prayer in my own way. So I went to a bead store; then left the expensive bizarre bead store and went to Joann's. I found all of the materials I needed for $10! I went home and a little more than an hour later I had my own Anglican Rosary. I will keep you posted on whether or not it is beneficial to me or not, but in the mean time here is a photo.
Prayer Beads can trace their history to Hinduism where they are called Mala and consist of 108 beads used to count prayers. From Hinduism the practice transferred over to Buddhism, where they have a variety of names depending on the culture but generally keep to the 108 beads used by Hindus. Naturally, the practice caught on in Islam, where they are called Misbaha and contain either 99 beads to be cycled through once or 33 beads to be cycled through thrice. Finally Prayer Beads found their way into Christianity.
In the Sixteenth Century, Pope Pius V pronounced that what we know as the Catholic Rosary is credited to Saint Dominic who also founded the Dominican Order. The Catholic Rosary consists of either 5 or 15 decades meaning the beads are grouped in tens with a bead in between each grouping. They are used by saying a Hail Mary Prayer for each of the ten beads and an Our Father prayer is said for each of the beads in between groupings while simultaneously meditating on one of the 20 mysteries. For further clarification check out Wikipedia.
In the mid-1980s Anglicans decided they wanted to join in on the fun. Thus Anglican Prayer Beads were born. They consist of 33 beads and are organized as follows: After the cross is a larger bead called the Invitatory Bead, which is followed by the first of four Cruciform Beads, which is followed by 7 Week Beads, another Cruciform Bead, 7 Week Beads, Cruciform Bead, 7 Week Beads, final Cruciform Bead, and the final 7 Week Beads. There is no right or wrong way to pray using Anglican Prayer Beads which allowed for them to be adopted by many other religious sects including Lutherans, Baptists, Methodists, and others.
After learning all of this I decided I wanted to try creating my own Anglican Rosary, something that would be uniquely mine that I could use for prayer in my own way. So I went to a bead store; then left the expensive bizarre bead store and went to Joann's. I found all of the materials I needed for $10! I went home and a little more than an hour later I had my own Anglican Rosary. I will keep you posted on whether or not it is beneficial to me or not, but in the mean time here is a photo.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Discernment Committee
I had my first official meeting with my discernment committee last night. It was an eye opener in some ways. They asked a lot of questions and I sort of rambled on about my life and my experiences and where I see myself going. To be honest I didn't know what to expect of the people who were on the committee, but I sort of knew what was going to be expected of them.....which I know doesn't really make very much sense. Mostly its that I knew what was going to happen but I didn't know how it was going to play out. They ask me a wide variety of open ended questions and I just sort of sit there and yammer on trying to answer as best I can. I call them my sounding board, because at times its like they are an extension of me really. They asked me questions that other people have asked me before of course, but they also asked me questions and got me to talk about the things that I've been avoiding asking myself. Not wanting to break the confidentiality I won't go into details but, they got me to think about what is driving my desire to attend VTS in the Fall, and what is behind my interest in becoming a priest specifically rather than just working in Christian Formation. I did cry but that could have been for a number of reasons - the biggest one being that I was running on about 10 hours of sleep since I had just gotten home yesterday afternoon from the Senior High Nightwatch Weekend in New York City - but it was also because I was forced to address some of the fears I have about becoming a priest. I think there is a very good reason why I have such a connection with the story of Moses. During this process in conversations I have had with God I find myself thinking some of the things that Moses did when he was faced with the burning bush. Am I really the right person for the job? Can I do what God wants me to do? Logically I know that God would never ask me to do anything I couldn't do on my own or with His help/guidance, but darn it if it isn't scary as all hell! We are meeting again next Sunday to continue the conversation, and this time I hope to have a few extra hours of sleep under my belt.
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