Storytime

I feel like I owe anyone who has read this blog an explanation. First, an apology. I experienced a lot of frustration when I was going through the formal process last year and at the beginning of this year I stepped away from lots of things with no explanation. So now for a little story time.

In January/February of this year, after weeks of prayerful consideration I decided to remove myself from the formal process in the Diocese of Maryland. I was too focused on the financial obligations and way too stressed out by the whole experience. I wrote a formal letter of withdrawal and sent it to the Diocese. In it I explained what I was doing and why. I decided that I need more time outside of the process to discern what God is calling me to do with the gifts and talents He has given me. I spent so much time focused on what the next step was and worried about money that I was becoming unable to see or discern anything else. My discernment process was getting in the way of my discernment.

I spent the next several months focusing on my job-substitute teaching-and just letting life come as it would. At the end of March I had a jolt of surprise. I took three of my youth group kids (high schoolers) and practically shoved them outside of their comfort zone. Along with some other youth from our Diocese we headed to West Virginia and spent the weekend in the middle of the woods at a Conference/Camp Center with other youth from our Province. When the youth met for small groups, all the adults gathered together to talk and share experiences. When asked what I do at my home parish I explained and they responded by saying "so you're the youth minister." I was hesitant to agree because I don't wear a collar and don't get paid for what I do, but they insisted and my youth group kids agreed; and so suddenly I had achieved a new title without really trying to.

My only real goals at this point in the summer are 1) get some of the youth group to show up for a volunteer event they wanted to do-summer schedules are hard but they insist they still want to do it-and 2) to get signed up for an early childhood education class at the local community college-I'm hoping that it will give me the knowledge I need to take some tests and get my teaching certificate by the end of next summer. I try to take it one day at a time and listen carefully to what God is saying, but some days all I hear is silence on the other end of that conversation; something that has taken time to accept, but I know that when the time is right if I'm truly listening I will hear what I'm supposed to.