History of My Faith Part 2

Because of my deep involvement with the church when I was a teenager I visited a number of different churches within and outside of my diocese. I was there for many different reasons but often I was there as part of a lock-in or retreat and so I have spent many nights sleeping in various parts of various churches. One of my favorite things to do when in a church at night time (preferably "off-hours"when no one else is around) is to visit the Nave or Sanctuary of that particular church.


Some people would fear a church lit only by candle light or moon light. To them and those who've never had the privilege to see it i say, if you do have the chance it will take your breath away. It is the one thing that truly brings me to God's presence in His house. Flickering candles and moon light shadows make you feel like He is there, breathing and walking all around you. The wonder of the church truly begins to shine. The shadows on the cross give it a powerful importance. Like Christ is dancing in the candle light of His Father's house. He is happy to be with His Father, and wants for us not to be afraid; to rejoice with Him.


Only when we are safe, happy, and unafraid can God and His son be truly happy. We are all one in them and they in us; meaning they feel what we do, even if we don't feel what they do. We too can dance in our Father's house by candle or moon light. And when we do, He will know we are coming to Him to show just how much we love Him.


Love can be shown in many ways, some more effective than others. But there is one that I find works the best. Its the three simple words we often throw around like they mean basically nothing. I. Love. You. I believe that those three words make up one of the most powerful phrases in the entire English language. Together with time, those words can help to wipe away our tears filled with fear. They can give us hope and faith that someone will always love us, no matter what we may do. 


So long as when we do something bad, we're able to recognize it; and repent, asking for God's forgiveness. He will give it if you only ask. No matter when (day or night), where (school, church, or at home), or even with whom (friends, family, or even strangers); He'll turn our world upside down, giving us new meanings for everything in our life that we encounter.


God will never give us a task too small or too large. Nor will He give us an unmanageable task. His guidance and love are ever present and helpful, even when we think it unnecessary. Showing us that he does appreciate all that we are and all that we become. He loves us all the more when we sin and come to Him; or when we wish to wipe away our tears of fear, and we come to Him. The promise of returning to Eden to be with Him, is an eternal promise. All we have to do is uphold our end of the covenant. Loving Him, repenting to Him, and asking Him for cleansing help along the way. Someday we will all be beside Him, so long as we keep to the covenant. 


Its seems ridiculous to me that after all their efforts and time spent trying, that some people simply give up on God. They turn their backs believing that their way is the one and only best way. That those who help themselves, but don't hurt others, won't go to hell. Or that those who refuse to accept all of humanity as their brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation believe they are living according to Christ's teachings. I don't know that they believe they'll go to Heaven, but they're certain they will get a reward and stay out of hell. Well, that's just childish and stupid behavior. In fact its not really even childish, because most children I know don't see the differences in others like adults do. Even if you don't think you're harming others, by helping only yourself you are doing just that. Those that need help or equality the most, aren't getting it, because you only help yourself. What would you do if you unknowingly turned down Jesus reborn? Its a big risk to take. Do you really want to be someone who takes that risk?

History of My Faith Part 1

First off, you should know that Good Friday and anything relating to Good Friday is bad for me. Bad in the sense that I take it as a very emotional and somewhat personal day; much as I take the Holocaust personally, even though I'm not Jewish just Polish. But I digress.

When I was 17, the Friday before Palm Sunday, I went to a lock-in at my church. We went around the nave and did the Stations of the Cross. I was in tears from beginning to end. We're talk big fat crocodile tears. Sometimes it was even hard for me to breathe. When we came to the station with the painting of Jesus being nailed to the cross, I had to sit down. It was interesting really, because when we started the stations I had volunteered to carry this small picture adorned cross. The entire journey I clung to that cross. After we completed the stations we split up and contemplated our thoughts and feelings. After 5 or so minutes I went up to the altar to pray with the priest who was there with us that night. I prayed about many things while I knelt there; but mostly I prayed for guidance. Guidance that I may accept Christ's crucifixion as a loving act and less as a forced one; to see Christ's love and prepare me for Easter. Thinking about it, in my many "crocodile tears" lay my fears. As I released those fears I turned to God, as we all should do, for help in wiping them away. Showing Him that I was capable of doing more than fear all that surrounded me.

We are all afraid of many things throughout our lives. As children we fear punishment from our parents; as teenagers we fear we won't be accepted by our peers and we fear falling in love with someone who will only break our hearts. As adults we fear losing or not getting a job, we fear losing our spouse forever, and we fear that our children will grow not to love but to hate. It is the culmination of these fears and our lack of faith in God that slowly pushes us away from God. Yet if we don't ask for help how can we overcome those fears? "Through God all things are made possible." Prayer and praise alone are often not enough. Sometimes it takes a little bit of repentance to make the dough rise.

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall not fear, for You are with me." A part of a well known Psalm that comes to mind. God is always with us. Though its hard sometimes to recognize and understand that, its very much the truth.