Internship Week of October 23rd

I attended another meeting of the Stephen's Ministry this week, as well as a meeting of the Vestry, and I had a meeting with my discernment committee. All three were positive experiences, but the bulk of my week has been rather single-minded.

Much of my spare time this week has been focused on my nerves. I’m preaching on Sunday and I’m equal parts terrified and excited. The rector at my internship is an amazing preacher so I know I have big shoes to fill, but this also makes her an inspiration. There are parishioners, who have told me how much they are looking forward to hearing what I have to say, and my family will be there; so I’ve been feeling the pressure. I had a dream one night that I got to church and had forgotten my sermon, so the rector had to preach at the 8 o’clock service while I desperately tried to come up with something for the 10:15.

As a result of this stress, I’ve been taking a lot of time to just sit in silence and pray. I’ve derived a great deal of comfort from doing so. At the same time I’m excited. I’ve preached before, but never on the Gospel. It has been a different experience writing this sermon. It’s taken some discipline to sit and be in the moment with the Gospel, and then to organize my thoughts and what I wish to convey. I’m excited and a little nervous to get feedback from the rector and the parishioners. When I preached before I was in high school and I don’t think I got any real feedback. I just have to remember to turn at least once and look at the choir.