Internship Week of November 6th

           I had another meeting with the rector this week. She gave me some very positive feedback about preaching, and made some suggestions about what else I should consider doing before my internship is over. We talked about all the aspects of Parish Life at St. John’s that I had experienced thus far, and I gave her some feedback of my own. We ended up discussing two big things.

            The first was the struggles that St. John’s is having with youth involvement. The parish is growing, and this means that more families with children are attending Sunday services. The problem stems from a lack of Sunday School teachers, no one who is willing to work to build the youth group, and the fact that many of the older kids live at/attend services at the local Episcopal Boarding school. I started thinking about what I would do if I were the Youth Minister at St. John’s; and I shared my thoughts with the rector who agreed with me. I think a good place to start is with the younger children. They need to build a strong Sunday School program; recruiting more teachers, and dividing the children up into closer-aged groups. Then, I would focus on the Middle School aged children for forming a youth group. Their schedules tend to be a little lighter and I’ve seen more of them at church. I would work to build the group so that the younger children have something to look forward to, and so that as they get older they have more of a reason to stay involved. It certainly wouldn’t be something that happened overnight; and it might be years before more than 5 or 6 kids were involved regularly. However, I think that it’s something that St. John’s really needs in order to continue growing.

            The other big thing we discussed was my return to my home parish. I’ve heard some of what’s been happening while I’ve been gone, and it leaves me with mixed feelings. On the one hand I’m sad to be leaving St. John’s, but excited to go back to St. James’. I’ve enjoyed my time here, but I know that it’s time for me to go back to my home parish. On the other hand, I almost feel that my home parish doesn’t need me anymore. Someone else took over teaching Sunday School, the parents have been working to keep the youth group alive, life has carried on. It makes sense, I didn’t expect everything to just stop when I left, but it’s a weird experience; and I feel an important one for me to have. As a priest, I could find myself in a similar situation after leaving one parish to go to a new one. Recognizing, understanding, and handling this feeling are significant things to learn.

Internship Week of October 30th

I started a new job as a substitute teacher this week, and spent most of my time in Elementary Schools. I was with Kindergartners more than any other grade it seemed like, and I noticed something. While shy at first, they are happy to tell you all sorts of things about themselves with you, given the opportunity. It’s been a long time since I was around so much constant joy and excitement. It was refreshing as much as it was exhausting.

            I also saw the love of Christ in each of those small human beings. They are so simple; when happy they laugh, when sad they cry, and when they can they give lots of hugs and tell you “I love you.” How wonderfully amazing would the world be if everyone loved the way 5 year-olds do? They look at everyone they see and smile, without needing a reason or expecting anything in return. I had a kindergartner I didn’t know see me standing in the gym, walk up to me, and give me a hug; just because I smiled at her when she walked in. If that isn’t God’s love in the world around me, I don’t know what is.

            These kindergartners also expressed affection for one another. If one wasn’t feeling well, another spoke up and offered to take them to the nurse. If someone was sad, they tried to comfort him or her. They liked to hold hands walking in the hallways, and fought to be able to hold my hands too. There is so much love God has put into us, but I think we forget that it’s ok to share it with one another. We forget that we are all members of One Body in Christ Jesus, and that to love one another is to love Christ.

Sermon

I preached at both services this morning. I did pretty well, I was very nervous at the early service and went too fast. I felt I did better at the later service, though still a little too fast. I am posting it below, it is based on the Gospel of Matthew 23: 1-12.

This morning’s Gospel is a well-known, oft repeated story. We hear from a very young age “Do as I say, not as I do” which can be very confusing if you truly watch what others are saying and doing. Parents, teachers, and politicians love this phrase because it gives them a loophole, and as with much of life we are always looking for loopholes. We often take for granted the fact that others may look up to us as role models. As Christians it can be hard to live our lives according to the Gospel. There is a saying I heard “Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary use words.” What we do is almost always what people will remember about us.

We all know that one person, whether it is a coworker or friend or family member, who likes to tell others to do things, but never actually does anything themselves. They leave the work to others, often making excuses that seem barely believable; we may even be guilty of it ourselves at times. It certainly would have been easy for Jesus to perform a miracle or two and then step back and let someone else do all the “dirty work.” If that were all we needed from Christ, then walking on water and then turning water into wine would have sufficed. We know that to be false. We needed to hear what He had to say, we needed to see Him working with the poor and the outcasts, we needed Him to die on a cross to show us God’s saving grace.

I think that the scribes and the Pharisees were the religious celebrities of Jesus’ time. They were in positions of power and their behavior was not considered unusual. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure there were exceptions just as there are exceptions with celebrities today; but in general much of what they did was about seeing and being seen. Who gets the best seat at the banquets? In the synagogues? Who’s recognized when they go out in the marketplaces? What “good deeds” can they do that people will see and applaud?

We all like to be recognized for our accomplishments and the things we do for others. Praise is a slippery slope. Are we receiving the praise because we truly deserve it, or because it’s what’s expected? Do we do certain things because we know others will take notice and acknowledge our good works? Or do we do them because we feel that is what Christ is calling us to do with the talents God gave us? Are we seeking our five minutes of fame by going to Haiti to help the victims of a natural disaster, or are we going to seek and serve Christ in others?

Was Christ putting on a show for others when He went to Zacchaeus’ house for dinner? No, He was criticized and reprimanded, but He did it anyways. Jesus was rebellious in so many ways that we seem to have forgotten. He accepted water from a Samaritan woman at the well, He healed ten lepers though only one was grateful, and He was outraged when He found a temple filled with merchants selling their wares! And He didn’t worry about His reputation, when living His life according to God’s will. He offended others just as much as He healed them; but it was necessary.

It is important for us to hear that we are not God. God is God, and we are God’s children; that no matter how many times we try to play God with our own lives or with the lives of others, we will not succeed. All things happen because God’s Holy Spirit works within and through and among us. We can certainly plan for things to happen, as we are unlikely to wake up in the morning and say “I’m not doing anything today unless God says to me that I should do it.” I certainly don’t have God on speed-dial, I know some people think they do, but I don’t and so I can’t even begin to guess what God is saying I should do everyday.

At the same time, it is equally important for us to recognize that we are not perfect. We all make mistakes; we all do things to get attention rather than because we should do them for others. The important thing is knowing that when we ask, God will forgive us. Christ died for our sins. He made the ultimate sacrifice so that when we screw up, and we always do, we can seek God’s forgiveness. It is God’s opinion that matters in the end. When we die and the day arrives for God to pass judgment on us, can we tell the truth about our life? Can we admit our faults? Can we recognize our mistakes? If we cannot, are we prepared to face eternal damnation for our stubbornness and pride? These are the questions we should be asking ourselves, when we hear the phrase “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Internship Week of October 23rd

I attended another meeting of the Stephen's Ministry this week, as well as a meeting of the Vestry, and I had a meeting with my discernment committee. All three were positive experiences, but the bulk of my week has been rather single-minded.

Much of my spare time this week has been focused on my nerves. I’m preaching on Sunday and I’m equal parts terrified and excited. The rector at my internship is an amazing preacher so I know I have big shoes to fill, but this also makes her an inspiration. There are parishioners, who have told me how much they are looking forward to hearing what I have to say, and my family will be there; so I’ve been feeling the pressure. I had a dream one night that I got to church and had forgotten my sermon, so the rector had to preach at the 8 o’clock service while I desperately tried to come up with something for the 10:15.

As a result of this stress, I’ve been taking a lot of time to just sit in silence and pray. I’ve derived a great deal of comfort from doing so. At the same time I’m excited. I’ve preached before, but never on the Gospel. It has been a different experience writing this sermon. It’s taken some discipline to sit and be in the moment with the Gospel, and then to organize my thoughts and what I wish to convey. I’m excited and a little nervous to get feedback from the rector and the parishioners. When I preached before I was in high school and I don’t think I got any real feedback. I just have to remember to turn at least once and look at the choir.

Internship Week of October 16th

I sat in on the Children’s Chapel this Sunday. It is really wonderful. The rector gathers them all before the service starts and speaks to them briefly, then they process with their own cross downstairs. They gather and discuss a Bible story then do an activity relating to the story. Then they go back upstairs at the Offertory and help bring the food bank donations down for blessing. It is a great way to occupy the children during the “boring” parts of the service, but still keep them engaged in a spiritual way.

I went with the Rector to take communion to a Retirement Community Thursday. It was a very different experience for me. I enjoyed it immensely and would like to go again next month. There were only a few “participants” but they seemed enthusiastic and really appreciative of what we were doing.

The rector and I met again this week. We talked about how I’m feeling and what I’m experiencing. The rector wanted to make sure I was getting to do a little of everything, and to give feedback on my participation. It was all very positive and I feel like I am moving in the right direction.

Just before we were scheduled to meet something interesting happened, and I thought I would share it here. While waiting for the rector to be available for our meeting a homeless man came to the office door. He asked the secretary if there was a priest he could see, and after checking with the rector she asked him to wait. the rector came out and invited him into hir office, and while they had a private conversation many things came to mind. How often does this happen here? How does the rector handle the situation? How would I handle the situation? All I could think about was the passage where Christ tells us “when you helped the least of these you helped me.” Society tends to shun and turn a blind eye to those who are among the poor in our own neighborhoods. Christ’s ministry and teaching were the opposite; He asked that we embrace the poor, and the hungry, and the sick as members of the Body of Christ.

I shared my thoughts with the rector, and was told that it happens more often then most people realize. This brought up the question of where do you draw the line? How do you know if you are actually helping someone or feeding an addiction of some kind (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc.)? We agreed that you can’t ever really know for sure, and sometimes that doesn’t matter. What matters is remembering to “seek and serve Christ in all persons” regardless of their income.

Internship Week of October 9th

I attended Adult Forum again on Sunday morning. It was the first of a monthly discussion of Mitch Albom’s “Have a Little Faith.” We began by discussing spiritual journeys, which spoke to me quite a lot. I volunteered to share mine, and it felt really great to be able to contribute so much to the discussion. It was also enriching to hear the snippets of others’ stories; I realized how much we share, but at the same time how differing the stories can be. If you haven't already read it I highly recommend it.

I attended the Stephen’s Ministry meeting again on Tuesday. I’ve really enjoyed learning about the lay side of pastoral care. The people who are a part of this ministry are extraordinary individuals. They have been very welcoming of me, and encourage my opinions when I feel they are appropriate. I will be going with the rector to take communion to a Retirement Community next week; something I’m very excited about.

I met with my spiritual advisor this week. She and I discussed how it feels going from the process I was in to the one I’m in now, and how I feel my internship is going. I’m really optimistic about the experiences I’ve been having at my internship; the congregants have been supportive and welcoming.

Internship Week of October 2nd

I attended Adult Forum again on Sunday morning. It was more crowded than last Sunday and the discussion was very stimulating. There will be a monthly discussion of Mitch Albom’s “Have a Little Faith” starting next Sunday, so I spent a few days reading it this week. I found it really spoke to me in a lot of ways, and look forward to discussing it with the other participants. It will be lead by a parishioner instead of Rev. Ann, and I look forward to seeing how that leadership role, plays out.

I served at the 10:15 service. I was given the Archdeacon’s seat next to the rector. I the rector at the table for the Eucharist, and served wine at the High Altar. This was a little different for me, and I really enjoyed it. I made a few mistakes, but seemingly no one in the congregation noticed, as I received nothing but positive feedback.

The rector and I met for a time, and discussed many things. Mostly we talked about my involvement, and pastoral care. It was an eye opening discussion about how she, as the sole non-retired-staffed priest of the parish, handles her pastoral care duties. The rector spoke a lot about the importance of prioritizing everything, and about having support from parishioners.

I attended a jazz concert at the church. It was an event open to the public, and half of the people who attended were congregants and half were not. It was interesting to see how welcoming the congregants were to the members of the community, and how much everyone got out of the experience.